Puritans, Pioneers, The New England Patriots, and New Moms
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(Disclaimer: This article was written for moms who are going through a general rough patch. If you are presently experiencing intense hardship, this piece, in no way, seeks to diminish your struggle. Rather, we advise that you seek professional assistance immediately. On the other hand, if you currently feel like you’re coasting, please enjoy these sweet days. Do, however, bookmark this page for reference on a “rainy day.”)
Recently, while in conversation with my sister-in-law, we began sharing experiences on the topic of being Boston natives living in Houston. One of our shared discoveries hit on the premise that sometimes the very thing you love can also invoke unfavorable sentiments.
Boston: If you’re familiar with Boston history and culture, you know that Boston (Massachusetts, really) has been a place of refuge for various groups even prior to its establishment in 1630. Separatists (better known as Pilgrims) and Puritans, alike, traveled to what would become the Massachusetts Bay Colony in order to escape injustice, persecution, and tyranny. Upon arrival, they did what any such group would do. They penned a list of rules (the Massachusetts Body of Liberties) in hopes of setting order to their new society and to keep from repeating past traumas.
Houston: Upon moving to the Houston area, it doesn’t take a New Englander very long to notice stark differences between Texas and the Northeast. The best way I can describe Houston of today in historic terms is by stating that the spirit of the pioneers still lingers here. Living in Texas sometimes reminds me of those lessons in history class when I’d imagine caravans full of settlers traveling West in pursuit of creating new opportunities for themselves. In comparison to the East Coast, one might perceive Texans to be light on rules and regulations… maybe having more of an honor-code than a written one… or as operating according to a school of thought that might say, “Let’s just see how much we can get done first.”
I have to admit, my sister-in-law and I couldn’t seem to conclude which is “better.”
As entrepreneurial Bostonians, we really appreciated the efficiency and dependability that are benefits of living in a simultaneously progressive and Puritan state. Those passed-down rules and regulations, in many cases, make for smooth, streamlined processes. However, even with the much-appreciated order in business, at times there surfaces the desire for looser regulations that would allow one to pursue ventures with a bit more ease. This would, undoubtedly, come at a cost.
For entrepreneurial Houstonians, on the other hand, the landscape is pretty fertile for setting up shop. While small government does not generally refute the need for regulations, it does provide the breathing room that allows a person to more readily dream out loud. The cost? Let’s just say that after a couple of unpredictably unfavorable outcomes, I find myself leaning on Yelp reviews now more than ever. All the same, I still do appreciate benefitting from the more relaxed Texas approach that has made those negative outcomes so easily possible.
Life has a way of making the things we find providential, simultaneously frustrating… and the frustrations, conversely, can often be providential. Super Bowl LI was one of those moments that is forever etched in NFL history (and in our minds). That was when the Pats overtook the Falcons after a 28-3 deficit with just 02:17 left in the third quarter. The feelings of angst and frustration that ailed Pats Nation during those first three quarters are a large part of what make the victory sweeter… iconic, even.
So, what do Puritans, Pioneers, and the New England Patriots have to do with being a mom?
Motherhood tends to carry a similar give-and-take… where the exciting and the frustrating often collide. While being a mom is THE most honoring and joyous role I have ever played, at times it can feel like an impossible job. The tough days can be brutal. The interesting thing about tough moments, however, is that the comeback usually reveals that the struggle was worthwhile, and the rewards are often just what is needed.
You may find that there are many moments in motherhood when you’ll need to just ride it out and wait; however, that doesn’t mean that help isn’t available. If today feels particularly tough, a quick reset might be in order. That meeting might need to be postponed. The dishes, toys, and laundry might need to wait for just a bit. Maybe you won't attend that thing today… whatever it is.
If you need suggestions on what a reset can look like for you, feel free to try one (or more) of my Five Hot Tips. Even if you’re beyond the postpartum phase, still take a look. With five children - the eldest of which is an adult and the youngest being eight years old - I can attest that these tips still do work.
